Tomorrow is unofficially my first day back to teaching. There are 2 full days this week of Professional Development classes, one day next week of New Teacher Orientation, and then the first day for teachers to report is next Thursday, with kids returning September 2nd. My time as a stay at home mom to my 2 kids is coming to a close and I have many mixed feelings about going back to work.
I feel incredibly lucky to have had the past 3 years to be home with my kids. I have watched and helped them grow, I have played, I have cleaned up after and fed, I have bathed, I have read to, I have put down for naps and bed, and I have generally exhausted myself. I wouldn’t have changed these past 3 years for anything in the world. I feel now, however, it’s time to move on.
I will still be mom, of course, but in a different way. I realize that I am passing the bulk of their care over to different people. Sofia will be in school almost a full day for Pre-K, learning and growing under the careful eye of the amazing teachers at Oceanside School #6. David will spend most days with grandma, some going to a babysitter that happens to be a friend who lives close by, and playing with her wonderful 4 children. I am comfortable knowing they are in caring, loving hands.
The control freak in me worries incessantly that these new care-givers won’t do things exactly how I have. I know this is for their benefit, as I am by no means the perfect mom, and I’m sure these women, who have more experience parenting than I do, have so much to offer my kids. They will definitely teach them, and me, a thing or two. I’m trying to let go of the little things and embrace the change ahead, but I worry.
I also worry about my ability to teach, as things have changed so much in the 3 short years I have been gone. Curriculum and standards have changed, and I am also going from teaching high schoolers to elementary students. I’m hoping this goes somewhat smoothly.
Most of my worrying comes from the complete disruption of my normal groove of things. I’m used to grocery shopping on Monday mornings, play dates with friends, and nap times to recharge. I’m also used to forgetting to eat meals, cleaning OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT off of the floors, couches, walls, etc. and tantrums.
I miss the adult interaction of working outside the home, and I miss doing what, at least I thought, I do well. I really enjoyed teaching and I’m excited to do it again. I’m sure I’ll be a bit rusty, but hopefully get into the swing of things quickly. It will be nice to pee alone, eat meals without sharing and really only getting half of my sandwich, and having conversations that aren’t interrupted by ‘mommy, you be the boy barbie and I’ll be the girl barbie.’ And I miss money, too, so that will be nice
So those are my thoughts upon re-entering the world of the working moms. Wish me luck, especially tomorrow morning around 7:30am when my son is screaming at the top of his lungs as I drop him off. That should be fun.