Long Island Mom

What I've learned about being a mom.

Happy Memorial Day

Happy Memorial Day to everyone, hope you’re enjoying this fabulous weekend with your friends and families. Just wanted to take a minute to thank everyone who has served, is serving or will serve in our armed forces. Your sacrifices do not go unnoticed and are so appreciated.

I also wanted to thank all of the families of our service men and women. We appreciate the sacrifices you make, giving us your husbands, wives, moms, dads, etc so that we can all enjoy our freedom.

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No yelling!

My 8 month old baby boy screams like a girl. ¬†All. Day. Long. In fact, it’s so often that my 2 year old is constantly telling her brother “No yelling!”

I’ve tried ignoring it, but he yells louder.

I’ve tried telling him to stop, and when I look at him he smiles or laughs.

Is 8 months too young to be grounded? Or time out? Can I take away his video games? His bike? I mean, how do you discipline an 8 month old?

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Hulafrog

I have recently become involved in a website called Hulafrog. It’s a site full of kid-friendly restaurants, stores, and activities geared toward the area you live in and it’s such a great idea, especially for new moms not quite used to needing kid-friendly places, but also for moms that are new to an area and need ideas for places to bring their kids. Anyone can register on the site and start reviewing their favorite places, and you’re encouraged to do so! Check it out :http://rockvillecentre.hulafrog.com/default.aspx

 

Looking through the site, I have come across so many new activities I can’t wait to take my kids to, that I had no idea existed. Without a site like this, all we really have is word of mouth, which is great, but limited to your circle of friends. Hulafrog extends that circle of friends to moms throughout your area who have tested out new places and are ready to give you the thumbs up, or down. It takes the guess work out of planning your weekend activities.

 

There are also top 10 lists, like the recent list of Summer Camps and Parks and Playgrounds, with detailed descriptions. Give it a try and check out my reviews:

http://rockvillecentre.hulafrog.com/Members/LongIslandMom.aspx

 

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Beyond terrible twos

I have heard that the Terrible Twos are a parent’s nightmare. But then I’ve heard that 3 is worse than 2. And then I’ve also heard that the half birthdays are worse than 2 or 3. I’m here to tell you it’s all awful.

Sofia is 2 1/2. She has been in the tantrum throwing Terrible Twos for 6 months now, and it hasn’t been the most fun I’ve ever had. I’ve found the tantrums are less frequent now than they were when she entered this stage, but they have more power and last longer when they do occur. I have a stubborn little mule on my hands.

I try to be consistent with how I handle her outbursts, ignoring the screaming until she calms down, which has seemed to work up until now. I’ve found that trying to calm her or discipline her in the moment only added fuel to the fire, so when possible (read : not in public) I choose to ignore. In public, this isn’t always possible because I care about my fellow humans eardrums and sanity, and do not wish to subject them to the insanity that is a 2 year old tantrum.

Today, things got out of control. There was no warning. She was playing dress up in my jewelry in my bedroom and as I went to check the baby monitor for what I thought was the baby waking up, she hit me hard with my watch under my eye. I’m a little swollen and bruised, and frankly look like I got a fist to the face. Nope, I’ve been abused by my 2 year old.

These instances are few and far between but are so upsetting. I’m not sure if this is a positive or a negative thing, but her physical agression has always and only been against me. As a baby, she would bite my shoulder, but nobody else. As a toddler, I have things thrown at me and she hits me. My reaction to this is a time out and removal of her from the situation as well as the offending object she used. There are tears, I solicit an apology, and we move on.

Her triggers are mostly not getting the attention she wants 24/7, every minute of every day. I’m sure that’s what this was about today, as I took a break from playing with her to check on her brother. I’m sure that pissed her off but really she needs to learn that the world does not revolve around her every minute of every day. I guess I’m writing this to get other perspectives on ‘normal’ toddler behavior. I was a hitter as a kid, and was punished constantly for it. My brother wouldn’t have hurt a fly. Are some kids more violent than others by nature? Am I handling her behavior correctly? How can I fix this?

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Parenting Reality Show

I got an email about a reality-type show for Bravo and they asked me to put the info out in case anyone is interested. The following is the email I got about the show :

My name is Ramo Kalupala and I am helping to cast a new show for parenting. I was hoping you could help us spread the word to your network of readers. We are on a very short casting window so any help would be appreciated. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
WE ARE LOOKING FOR MOMS AND DADS WITH UNIQUE PERSPECTIVES ON PARENTING..
TIGER MOMS? HELICOPTER PARENTS? SPOILER PARENTS( parent that spoils their kids) ?Are you an attachment parent? A green parent? Free range? Authoritative? Permissive? Parent that hovers over everything? Restrictive Parent? Very Strict Parent? OR DO YOU HAVE A STYLE THAT’S ALL YOUR OWN?
If interested , email us immediately. Please send your name, phone number, where you live, e-mail address, a description of your family/parenting style, and a photo to Twinstalent@gmail.com. More info available at http://punchedinthehead.com/casting.

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Dinner

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That is a picture of tonight’s dinner for my 2 1/2 year old. 2 bites of yogurt were consumed before it was decided dinner is not on the agenda tonight.

I’ve tried everything. I force her to sit at the table, she refuses to eat. I put dinner on the coffee table and let her run around and pick at her food, she refuses to eat. I make ‘kid foods’ like pizza and chicken nuggets, she refuses to eat. I make her what we’re eating, she refuses to eat. I feed her at 5, she refuses to eat. 6? Nothing. 7? Nothing.

Our pediatrician assures us that when she’s hungry, she’ll eat. She’s currently 21 pounds, and my 7 month old son is 18 pounds. You can count her ribs. I’m concerned but I can’t figure out how to get her to eat.

I was this skinny girl and I know what lies ahead for her – jokes about turning sideways and disappearing, concerned social workers at school questioning about eating disorders and parental neglect, looks from strangers that will think her mother is starving her. None of it is true, but it doesn’t quiet my concerns for her.

I’ve turned to milkshakes as a way of getting precious calories into this kid, and although there is dairy in them, they’re not a healthy way to get some meat on her bones. It kills me because I painstakingly planned out all of her meals as a baby, making sure to fit in veggies, protein, whole grains, dairy and fruits into her meals. All of that work so I could avoid these problems and here they are.

Any ideas moms? I’m listening!

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What I’ve learned

I had a hard time coming up with a description of this blog when I first started it. It’s kind of a chronicle of my futile attempts at controlling the chaos of my family, some stuff about my relationship with my handsome hubby, and some recipes that I’ve tried and loved. So it’s everything I’ve learned since becoming a mom. Which, it turns out, is a lot. And it also turns out, most of what I’ve learned has come the hard way – lots of mistakes.

The biggest things I’ve learned haven’t been so much about how to parent as much as they’ve been about who I am as a person. I’ve learned so much about myself through my kids and my experiences with them.

1 – I’m stronger than I thought.

I had no idea how much physical pain I could endure and continue living. And yes, I’m talking about labor and delivery, but also about pregnancy and afterward. The aches and pains of my pre-kids body are nothing compared to carrying and birthing children. I can also somehow carry 40 pounds of children and a 15 pound diaper bag at the same time, throw a couple of grocery bags in there most days of the week and I swear a temper tantrum adds 10 pounds to a toddler. Isn’t that like 400 pounds all together?

2 – I’m emotionally weaker than I thought.

I moved to New York 2 weeks before 9/11. I saw firsthand the tragedy we endured as a nation that day and I was what I thought was devastated by it. I will tell you now that I had no idea how emotionally wrecked I could be by an event that didn’t directly effect my family. Every time I see a tragic event on the news, which, unfortunately is pretty often, I can’t hold back tears thinking of the moms of the people lost. I just don’t know how I could continue living if something happened to my kids and I can’t shake those thoughts watching the news.

3 – I’m more patient than I thought.

They push my buttons. Hourly. And they’re still alive. ‘Nuff said.

4 – I love intensely.

There is just no love like the love a mother has for her kids. And I was so nervous when I was pregnant with baby D that I would never love him the way I love Sofia. Wow how wrong I was. I have so much love in my heart for these kids it’s indescribable. And my love for my husband grows with each day as well. Nothing better than watching him play with our kids and knowing he shares that intense love for them with me.

5 – I know absolutely nothing about parenting.

I’ve read books. I’ve researched on the Internet. I’ve talked to everyone I know that has kids. I still have no clue what I’m doing with these little beings I’ve created. I’m winging it. So I have a bank account set up for their inevitable therapy sessions. I really thought I knew how I was going to work things around here but the biggest lesson I’ve learned about being a mom is that there are no right answers. What works for us today may not work for someone else, and it may not work for us tomorrow. I’ve learned to be flexible.

What are the things you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a parent?

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