I know how annoying I must be to my friends that don’t yet have kids. I am quite obsessed with my daughter and I’m almost incapable of having a conversation with anyone without saying something about her. As its happening I find myself annoyed that I’m doing it, but my life revolves around her and my happiness is derived from my growing family so it’s hard not to share every detail with my friends.
I have always been a very social person. I loved living in Manhattan in college and going out with friends to different bars and restaurants, drinking too much and nursing a hangover the following day. When Dave and I moved to Long Island we made the 40 minute train ride into the city every weekend to continue the tradition. That is, until we had a mortgage to pay for and a baby at home.
Do I miss it? Of course. I miss being able to drop everything to meet a friend for dinner or a few drinks and not feeling guilty leaving a baby at home. I also miss my friends that don’t have kids. We are definitely living totally different lives now.
That being said, no night of partying with my buddies compares to being a mom. Those that don’t have kids won’t understand that until it happens to them, I mean I sure didn’t. I can’t explain it other than being a parent means you are totally obsessed with your child. I live for her and though I enjoy an occasional night away, I miss her every second I’m not with her.
My mom explained that as my life moves forward, some friendships won’t survive the transition. It’s hard to relate to people with whom you share no common ground. This has been sad, but true. I have gravitated towards friends with kids because I know I’m less annoying to them and that they share as many ‘mom’ stories as I do. My husband laughs that when we get together, our college selves would be appalled at the conversations of pregnancy and child-rearing that have overtaken stories of wild nights out. I treasure these relationships but wish I had somewhere to fit in the old ones as well.
So my question is this: Does it all level out at some point? Is there a time in my future where my kids won’t be the center of my universe and I’ll be able to enter the adult world again without stories of late nights up with a teething baby or the newest art project she made at Gymboree? Or will the stories just change to incorporate parent-teacher conferences and sports events? In the meantime, we moms do apologize for boring everyone with our stories. It really isn’t our intention to bore you to tears. One day you’ll understand.