My 8 month old baby boy screams like a girl. All. Day. Long. In fact, it’s so often that my 2 year old is constantly telling her brother “No yelling!”
I’ve tried ignoring it, but he yells louder.
I’ve tried telling him to stop, and when I look at him he smiles or laughs.
Is 8 months too young to be grounded? Or time out? Can I take away his video games? His bike? I mean, how do you discipline an 8 month old?
I have recently become involved in a website called Hulafrog. It’s a site full of kid-friendly restaurants, stores, and activities geared toward the area you live in and it’s such a great idea, especially for new moms not quite used to needing kid-friendly places, but also for moms that are new to an area and need ideas for places to bring their kids. Anyone can register on the site and start reviewing their favorite places, and you’re encouraged to do so! Check it out :http://rockvillecentre.hulafrog.com/default.aspx
Looking through the site, I have come across so many new activities I can’t wait to take my kids to, that I had no idea existed. Without a site like this, all we really have is word of mouth, which is great, but limited to your circle of friends. Hulafrog extends that circle of friends to moms throughout your area who have tested out new places and are ready to give you the thumbs up, or down. It takes the guess work out of planning your weekend activities.
There are also top 10 lists, like the recent list of Summer Camps and Parks and Playgrounds, with detailed descriptions. Give it a try and check out my reviews:
http://rockvillecentre.hulafrog.com/Members/LongIslandMom.aspx
I have heard that the Terrible Twos are a parent’s nightmare. But then I’ve heard that 3 is worse than 2. And then I’ve also heard that the half birthdays are worse than 2 or 3. I’m here to tell you it’s all awful.
Sofia is 2 1/2. She has been in the tantrum throwing Terrible Twos for 6 months now, and it hasn’t been the most fun I’ve ever had. I’ve found the tantrums are less frequent now than they were when she entered this stage, but they have more power and last longer when they do occur. I have a stubborn little mule on my hands.
I try to be consistent with how I handle her outbursts, ignoring the screaming until she calms down, which has seemed to work up until now. I’ve found that trying to calm her or discipline her in the moment only added fuel to the fire, so when possible (read : not in public) I choose to ignore. In public, this isn’t always possible because I care about my fellow humans eardrums and sanity, and do not wish to subject them to the insanity that is a 2 year old tantrum.
Today, things got out of control. There was no warning. She was playing dress up in my jewelry in my bedroom and as I went to check the baby monitor for what I thought was the baby waking up, she hit me hard with my watch under my eye. I’m a little swollen and bruised, and frankly look like I got a fist to the face. Nope, I’ve been abused by my 2 year old.
These instances are few and far between but are so upsetting. I’m not sure if this is a positive or a negative thing, but her physical agression has always and only been against me. As a baby, she would bite my shoulder, but nobody else. As a toddler, I have things thrown at me and she hits me. My reaction to this is a time out and removal of her from the situation as well as the offending object she used. There are tears, I solicit an apology, and we move on.
Her triggers are mostly not getting the attention she wants 24/7, every minute of every day. I’m sure that’s what this was about today, as I took a break from playing with her to check on her brother. I’m sure that pissed her off but really she needs to learn that the world does not revolve around her every minute of every day. I guess I’m writing this to get other perspectives on ‘normal’ toddler behavior. I was a hitter as a kid, and was punished constantly for it. My brother wouldn’t have hurt a fly. Are some kids more violent than others by nature? Am I handling her behavior correctly? How can I fix this?
I got an email about a reality-type show for Bravo and they asked me to put the info out in case anyone is interested. The following is the email I got about the show :
My name is Ramo Kalupala and I am helping to cast a new show for parenting. I was hoping you could help us spread the word to your network of readers. We are on a very short casting window so any help would be appreciated. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.
WE ARE LOOKING FOR MOMS AND DADS WITH UNIQUE PERSPECTIVES ON PARENTING..
TIGER MOMS? HELICOPTER PARENTS? SPOILER PARENTS( parent that spoils their kids) ?Are you an attachment parent? A green parent? Free range? Authoritative? Permissive? Parent that hovers over everything? Restrictive Parent? Very Strict Parent? OR DO YOU HAVE A STYLE THAT’S ALL YOUR OWN?
If interested , email us immediately. Please send your name, phone number, where you live, e-mail address, a description of your family/parenting style, and a photo to Twinstalent@gmail.com. More info available at http://punchedinthehead.com/casting.
That is a picture of tonight’s dinner for my 2 1/2 year old. 2 bites of yogurt were consumed before it was decided dinner is not on the agenda tonight.
I’ve tried everything. I force her to sit at the table, she refuses to eat. I put dinner on the coffee table and let her run around and pick at her food, she refuses to eat. I make ‘kid foods’ like pizza and chicken nuggets, she refuses to eat. I make her what we’re eating, she refuses to eat. I feed her at 5, she refuses to eat. 6? Nothing. 7? Nothing.
Our pediatrician assures us that when she’s hungry, she’ll eat. She’s currently 21 pounds, and my 7 month old son is 18 pounds. You can count her ribs. I’m concerned but I can’t figure out how to get her to eat.
I was this skinny girl and I know what lies ahead for her – jokes about turning sideways and disappearing, concerned social workers at school questioning about eating disorders and parental neglect, looks from strangers that will think her mother is starving her. None of it is true, but it doesn’t quiet my concerns for her.
I’ve turned to milkshakes as a way of getting precious calories into this kid, and although there is dairy in them, they’re not a healthy way to get some meat on her bones. It kills me because I painstakingly planned out all of her meals as a baby, making sure to fit in veggies, protein, whole grains, dairy and fruits into her meals. All of that work so I could avoid these problems and here they are.
Any ideas moms? I’m listening!
I had a hard time coming up with a description of this blog when I first started it. It’s kind of a chronicle of my futile attempts at controlling the chaos of my family, some stuff about my relationship with my handsome hubby, and some recipes that I’ve tried and loved. So it’s everything I’ve learned since becoming a mom. Which, it turns out, is a lot. And it also turns out, most of what I’ve learned has come the hard way – lots of mistakes.
The biggest things I’ve learned haven’t been so much about how to parent as much as they’ve been about who I am as a person. I’ve learned so much about myself through my kids and my experiences with them.
1 – I’m stronger than I thought.
I had no idea how much physical pain I could endure and continue living. And yes, I’m talking about labor and delivery, but also about pregnancy and afterward. The aches and pains of my pre-kids body are nothing compared to carrying and birthing children. I can also somehow carry 40 pounds of children and a 15 pound diaper bag at the same time, throw a couple of grocery bags in there most days of the week and I swear a temper tantrum adds 10 pounds to a toddler. Isn’t that like 400 pounds all together?
2 – I’m emotionally weaker than I thought.
I moved to New York 2 weeks before 9/11. I saw firsthand the tragedy we endured as a nation that day and I was what I thought was devastated by it. I will tell you now that I had no idea how emotionally wrecked I could be by an event that didn’t directly effect my family. Every time I see a tragic event on the news, which, unfortunately is pretty often, I can’t hold back tears thinking of the moms of the people lost. I just don’t know how I could continue living if something happened to my kids and I can’t shake those thoughts watching the news.
3 – I’m more patient than I thought.
They push my buttons. Hourly. And they’re still alive. ‘Nuff said.
4 – I love intensely.
There is just no love like the love a mother has for her kids. And I was so nervous when I was pregnant with baby D that I would never love him the way I love Sofia. Wow how wrong I was. I have so much love in my heart for these kids it’s indescribable. And my love for my husband grows with each day as well. Nothing better than watching him play with our kids and knowing he shares that intense love for them with me.
5 – I know absolutely nothing about parenting.
I’ve read books. I’ve researched on the Internet. I’ve talked to everyone I know that has kids. I still have no clue what I’m doing with these little beings I’ve created. I’m winging it. So I have a bank account set up for their inevitable therapy sessions. I really thought I knew how I was going to work things around here but the biggest lesson I’ve learned about being a mom is that there are no right answers. What works for us today may not work for someone else, and it may not work for us tomorrow. I’ve learned to be flexible.
What are the things you’ve learned about yourself since becoming a parent?
I have outings with the kids where it all goes right. Sofia is happy and smiling and saying ‘Thank you! Byeeee!’ as we leave the store, and David flirts with everyone he passes, flashing his adorable smile. In these moments I feel like I have it all and I’m rocking this motherhood thing.
Then I have days like today.
I got both kids in their car seats. That’s when I smelled poop. I hate this moment. I decided they were already buckled in so we’d drive to the store and I’d change him in the trunk when we got there. Problem #1 solved.
First time putting David in the shopping cart. I normally carry him in my Ergo or Baby Bjorn carrier but he’s getting a little hefty at 7 months old. Sofia went in the plastic toy car that attaches to the front of the cart. So far so good.
The following sequence of events I wouldn’t wish on my worst enemy.
David hates the cart. David screams an annoying, yelling, girly, whining scream repeatedly. So I carry him in one arm and steer the very awkward toy car extra-wide cart with Sofia in the front. She sings to herself and tells me to push ‘faster mommy!’ I forget what the hell I need in this store.
All of a sudden the singing stops. Sofia is quiet and I know that’s not a good thing. I check the toy car and, yup, she peed.
I trek them to the bathroom in the front of the store with my diaper bag which is stocked for just such an occasion, thank god. Now where do I put Whiny McGirly Voice while I clean off Miss PeePee? I pull down the changing table and lay him there while I strip my poor pee-covered little girl.
David screams which makes Sofia cry and I want to just hop on a plane to anywhere to escape this scene but on I go, singing the Itsy Bitsy Spider while I remind my apparently forgetful 2 year old that we only peepee on the potty.
I check out, with nothing from my list, and immediately put them both down for naps. And they know enough to not complain and just go to sleep. At least I have that going for me.
How has your day been?
Mornings are a clusterfuck in my house. Sorry for the term but I can’t find a single word in the entire English language that describes it so perfectly. When I hear my 7 month old son stir at 6am I hit the ground running and the next time I see the clock it’s 10:00. And I haven’t even had my coffee.
The impatience of my 7 month old son requires me to set up his breakfast the night before. It takes me about 2 minutes to get his breakfast together and he yells at me for the entire 2 minutes. This normally wakes up Sofia, who needs to be taken to the potty and given Cheerios and milk the moment her eyes open. I’m worn out just writing about this.
Then kids need to be dressed and Sesame Street is demanded and the baby needs me to speak or sing directly to him until he’s ready for his nap at 9:00. And the cleanup. Oh, the cleanup.
So here’s my Mother’s Day wish – I want just one morning. One morning where I can sleep until 9:00 and when I come downstairs the kids are fed and dressed and the house is clean with dishes washed. Just one.
And an uninterrupted shower.
And cinnamon rolls in the oven.
And a mimosa.
Is that so much to ask? 
So aside from a brief stint in Bikram Yoga, I haven’t worked out since college. I’m in terrible shape and I keep using my kids as the excuse as to why I can’t get my butt to the gym. That was working, until my mom divulged that she used to go to the gym before we woke up so she could get a workout in. Basically calling me lazy. So I joined the New York Sports Club here in Oceanside.
When you join you get a free personal training session. I politely declined. Then they called me twice to re-offer, so I scheduled it for Monday at 6am. Yikes. My alarm went off at 5:45 and I felt like death but I dragged my lazy behind to my session.
So he didn’t find my joke funny about wanting to look like Kate Upton, you know, if that’s possible. He put me on the elliptical and asked me some questions about what I normally do when I work out and when was the last time you did this and I was so tempted to lie. Like I do at the doctor and the dentist and anyone else looking out for my well-being. Do I drink? Only a glass of wine on occasion. Floss? Oh yes, every day. All lies.
But I told the truth, and only because I knew he was about to see how incapable I am of any physical activity. I actually didn’t look too bad until he asked how many push-ups I thought I could do. Exactly 0, it turns out.
Today? Kill me. Everything hurts and I remember why I’ve been putting this off. But I’m hoping once I get in the swing of things, I’ll enjoy the hour to myself 3 times a week and my newfound energy and strength. I will, right?
I’ve traveled a bunch with my kids to see my parents in California. Sofia was 4 months old for her first trip, and David was only 6 weeks old for his (thanks Hurricane Sandy). I’ve made every mistake possible on these trips so I think I have a unique ability to give advice on air travel based on these screw-ups.
You can find lists of what to pack for your kids online but really it’s about what entertains your kids and what they need. My son is a mess and requires several changes of clothes plus and extra shirt for me, in case I’m his target after a meal. My daughter only requires an extra outfit because she’s newly potty trained. You know how much of a mess your kids are.
Snacks are so important, for any kid old enough to eat real food. Puffs and Cheerios are great for the younger set because they take awhile to eat. I save things like lollipops for special occasions like plane rides and have found that not only does the sucking help with eat popping, but it keeps Sofia quiet as well. Very important.
No limit on screen time while traveling. If she wants to sit and watch Cinderella 8 times on a long flight I let her, it’s all about survival. And if you are buying a seat for your child, I absolutely recommend a car seat. It’s a bitch to carry through the airport but once she’s strapped in, there’s no getting out except for diaper changes. We simply explained that a plane is like a car and we have to buckle up.
If you have a baby who is riding in your lap, I recommend a fabric baby carrier like an Ergo or Baby Bjorn. Both of my kids fell asleep easy in them and I had 2 free hands to read or eat or have a much needed cocktail once they were asleep.
I made the mistake on my first flight with Sofia when she was 4 months old of panicking that her ears wouldn’t pop. I over-fed her from the bottle and she threw up the entire contents of her stomach all over my mother. Lesson there is not to give a bottle or nurse until the plane is already off the ground and rapidly rising. It takes awhile for the pressure to bother their ears and if the bottle runs out you could just screw yourself. If your baby takes a pacifier, you’re lucky here.
Bring new toys on the journey. This one I learned from my mom. On a long car ride or flight, my mom would randomly hand us presents. New, small toys that would occupy us because, well, they were new. Nothing expensive, just a new Barbie or book of crossword puzzles or something like that. Sofia had figurines from her favorite movie, Tangled. She talked to Rapunzel and Eugene for most of the flight.
If all else fails, walk the aisles. Turbulence permitting, walk up and down the aisles holding your child pointing out things on the plane to them. Stand by the bathrooms and sway as you sing songs, and tell yourself that this too, shall pass. When one of my kids is in a mood, it doesn’t matter how prepared I am, flying is hell. Other parents on the flight will give you knowing looks because they’ve been in your shoes. If you’re lucky enough to never have a bad flight with your child, count your blessings.
Good luck!
